They say the first impression is always the lasting impression. I was never any good at that, never. Pigs would fly before I leave a lasting first impression. I am the shy, quiet type, that is until you get to know me. Then I do believe most people would not want to know me (kidding). Yup this is harder than I thought it would be, but I think I can do it.
The holiday season is just not the same when your partner is missing. The only thing I have decorated is stockings, a nativity scene, and the count down to Christmas. I have a few presents and I haven't even had the heart to wrap them. New Years Eve I will have no one to share that midnight kiss with to ring in the New Year. My partner will be 7,494.89 miles away from home.
Anyways enough of that pity party. So on a happier note this deployment is almost over.
Why must our feelings be so complicated? I can be happy as a clam and then down in the dumps the very next second. BLAH. Hey at least I guess complicated feels are better than none, gives me the feeling of being human stuck on this beautiful planet living my chaotic life.
So sitting on the couch staring off in a daze, I've been having a lot of thoughts about the future. Just a bunch of passing thoughts. Many of them questions and many just thoughts, but yet all so confusing. HELP! Sometimes I feel like Harry from Something's Gotta Give (2003) when they are in Paris during the birthday scene (Erica and Julian hold hands till after Harry says "make a wish") the oh my goodness I just realized I love this woman so much and she is in love with someone else, if I love her this much and she is so happy I will let her go. Not really sure if that made any sense. The sudden realization.
Wow another pity party. See like I said, up and down. Sitting here listening to music has made me realize that I could have done something better with me life. No, no, no I am not cracking myself, well maybe, but I am happy with the way my life is turning out so far (ask me again in 5 years I might have changed my mind). But truly, I enjoy my life as if I were on a cool autumn Sunday stroll in the park you always see in the movies. Where the trees line the edge of the path. The path that is big enough to fit three cars down, with the benches on both sides ever spaced so evenly. In other words, the place you go to escape this chaotic world and feel at peace. I am at peace with where I am in my life.
The holiday season is just not the same when your partner is missing. The only thing I have decorated is stockings, a nativity scene, and the count down to Christmas. I have a few presents and I haven't even had the heart to wrap them. New Years Eve I will have no one to share that midnight kiss with to ring in the New Year. My partner will be 7,494.89 miles away from home.
Anyways enough of that pity party. So on a happier note this deployment is almost over.
Why must our feelings be so complicated? I can be happy as a clam and then down in the dumps the very next second. BLAH. Hey at least I guess complicated feels are better than none, gives me the feeling of being human stuck on this beautiful planet living my chaotic life.
So sitting on the couch staring off in a daze, I've been having a lot of thoughts about the future. Just a bunch of passing thoughts. Many of them questions and many just thoughts, but yet all so confusing. HELP! Sometimes I feel like Harry from Something's Gotta Give (2003) when they are in Paris during the birthday scene (Erica and Julian hold hands till after Harry says "make a wish") the oh my goodness I just realized I love this woman so much and she is in love with someone else, if I love her this much and she is so happy I will let her go. Not really sure if that made any sense. The sudden realization.
Wow another pity party. See like I said, up and down. Sitting here listening to music has made me realize that I could have done something better with me life. No, no, no I am not cracking myself, well maybe, but I am happy with the way my life is turning out so far (ask me again in 5 years I might have changed my mind). But truly, I enjoy my life as if I were on a cool autumn Sunday stroll in the park you always see in the movies. Where the trees line the edge of the path. The path that is big enough to fit three cars down, with the benches on both sides ever spaced so evenly. In other words, the place you go to escape this chaotic world and feel at peace. I am at peace with where I am in my life.
❦Rochelle ❦
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