Well, guess what?

The Earth moved and wrecked everything!  Well, it did when they were announcing that the horoscopes were being changed (Jan 13. 2011) and a new one being added.  REALLY?  No matter what I will always be a Scorpio.

Now that that is out of the way on to the next possible thing to come flying out of these crazy fingers of mine, my mind being an accomplice.

I had something in mind for this post, but like normal it has fled my brain and fingertips.  REALLY?  I might as well just buy a tape recorder and tape it to my face, so when I have a brilliant idea or something to jot down and have neither paper nor computer close by, wallah presto press the rewind button, instant play back.

Sometimes I feel as if there something missing from my life.  What?  I haven't a single clue.  Is there another path parallel to the path I am stumbling down now?  Would it be better or worse than the one I am on now?  Are the players the same? Is the surroundings the same?  What if...there are many what if's.  Too many to list.  Yes I know, BLAH BLAH BLAH, Charlie Brown's teacher voice.  There is just so much running through my noggin...(Buzzer) EEEEEEH wrong.  My noggin is just not a noggin...noggin is just too frelling plain (in a Ben Stine voice) BOOOORING!

I have this frelling feeling.  As of this frelling moment I have no frelling idea how to express what I mean.  I feel as if I should just let go and relax.  Oh how to explain.  I feel as if...ummm I should be a cut up instead of so serious about everything.  Really, you think it would be so easy, but NOOOOOOO, impossible more along the lines.  My grayish-pinkish thing up there in my noggin (aka - bowl) screams Act like a lady, you have manners use them, no one takes fun people seriously.  Yet I feel a thump sensation in my chest screaming Let it out, don't hold back, who cares if you make a fool of yourself, you have more fun when you act like a total loony.  Nobody cares about serious people, they take life to serious, besides you never get out alive. Conflict between heart and brain and its not even over choosing between a life where you can be set up if you follow this path or obsess over a boy!!!  HELLO?  Earth to frelling Rochelle, what to do, what to do, what to do?  This hand, that hand!  That hand, this hand!  So confused.

Dead Truck

On my way to the bank today my truck decides to start making a funny noise as I pull onto the on ramp to the freeway. I believe it to be my oil. Seeing as how I don't speak car and driver, I have no idea as to what it could be. I call up a friend of Wilson's, a tow truck driver, who knows cars pretty well too. Sitting on the side of the road it amazes me how many cars pass and not one of them, as of now, none have stopped to see if I need any help. Talk about southern hospitality. Of course, now days you never know about people. There is never a cop when ya need one either...makes me wonder about the world today.

If You've Never Loved a Soldier...You Wouldn't Know

If you have never loved a soldier, then you wouldn't know how it feels to watch him leave, never knowing when you will see his face again. You wouldn't know the pain endured and tears shed with every good-bye. You wouldn't know how it feels to hope and pray he comes back the same man you fell in love with. You wouldn't know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep for months on end, and the longing to simply touch his cheek. You wouldn't know the heartache after missing his long awaited call or the hint of happiness when you realize that you are now able to listen to the voice mail over and over again. You wouldn't understand why a Friday night on the phone with him beats going out with the girls. You haven't truly felt the lack of sleep until after those long phone calls that go on until midnight his time, six A.M. yours when you have to get up for work at seven.

If you've never loved a soldier you wouldn't know how it feels to go to a restaurant or to the mall, attempting not to notice couples holding hands, trying to hold back tears, knowing it will be twenty seven weeks until your fingers are once more intertwined in his.

If you've never had a soldier sweetheart, you would never be able to comprehend the immense pride that fills your smile when you wear his sweatshirt with 'ARMY' across your chest, or the reason you wear his dog tags: to always keep him close to your heart. You wouldn't know what its like to cuddle up in his clothes and grasp the teddy bear he made you last week, knowing that its the closest to him you can get. You wouldn't understand how decorating the back of your car with bumper stickers could ever be cool, and the connection you feel with another whose car wears the same emblem as your own. You wouldn't know the sacrifice, the willingness to let go of someone you love so much for the good of faceless strangers who would not have spared him a passing glance, had he been in his civilian clothes. You wouldn't know the feeling of uncertainty, never knowing where he will be sent next year, or next week. You would never know how it feels to be left alone with your hopes, dreams, and fears, to have your whole future hanging in the balance of the next couple months until he comes home.

If you've never loved a soldier, you would never fully know the meaning of the phrase: 'HOOAH' You wouldn't be able to comprehend the anxiousness of waiting for the mailman, the extreme joy when a letter finally arrives, and the tears that follows as you read his quick scribbled handwriting. You wouldn't ever have to send a letter with its stamp upside down to a faraway camp in a land you rather not know about. You wouldn't understand the anticipation leading up to the day when you can once again hold him in your arms. You wouldn't know why that feeling of awe over a man in uniform, has suddenly become a deep longing and grief because you miss your man so much.

If your heart has never belonged to a soldier you wouldn't know what its like to become ecstatic when you see a man in dress blues across a billboard, freak out when you watch the commercial on T.V., and feel your chest tighten when you read a sign that says Support our Troops, Bring Them Home! You wouldn't understand this because you do not realize that he wanted to fight, and as much as you need him, you know our country needed him more. You'll never understand the strength you have to muster up to be strong and put on a smile for the world, even though you feel so weak inside.

Unless you've loved a soldier, you wouldn't know that the meaning behind his girls smile is heartache and longing, pride and joy, willingness and uncertainty, and a love great enough to cross oceans, encompass deserts, transcend mountains, and overcome anything that comes between the two of them.